My Resolution for 2009…… to purge.

I stopped making resolutions many, many years ago for all the same reasons most people do but this year I’ve decided to resolve to making my life simpler and the first word that came to mind was purge. While checking the thesaurus for a less graphic definition I found that purge is more than perfect for what I want to accomplish over the coming 12 months that lie in wait beckoning my desire to cleanse, clean, eliminate, do away with, clear, remove, flush, pardon, exonerate, absolve, and forgive, both myself and others. This will involve more than just drawers and closets and cupboards. I plan to get physical, emotional and spiritual as well. So to get started I’m revising some of my bucket-list for 2009..

Skydiving is out…. Parasailing is in.
Italy is out…. Wine tasting in the Napa Valley is in.
Competing on “The Amazing Race” is out… Owning and watching all 11 episodes of “Planet Earth” is in.
Having more babies is out… Having more grandchildren is in <---- next one due 07/30/09, congrats Matthew & Kari and big sister Stella. Edited: Another one due 10/05/09, congrats first time parents, Leann & Matt!!!!!!!
Buying, restoring and flipping a house is out… Finishing the office remodel is in.
Owning land and building a log cabin with a wrap-around porch is out… Renting a cabin with a hot tub is in.
Riding extreme roller coasters is out… Closing my eyes and remembering ALL the times I did is in.
Retiring is out…. Enjoying a little bit of each day as if I don’t have to work is in.

Happy New Year everyone and may all your resolutions be realized and for those who plan to diet and take better care of them self remember…

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
Remember people, even more than things, have to be restored,
Renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
And as you grow ever older, you will discover that you have two hands,
One for helping yourself and one for helping others.
So roll up those sleeves and start building a better 2009 for EVERYONE!!

January 2009 milestones... Historic swearing in of our 44th President of the United States of America Barack Obama... “Oh, Yes We Can” and I am more hopeful and filled with joy than I have been in a number of years for our beloved country and it’s citizens. Gina was 6 months on the 10th and doing better than anyone ever expected. Happy 81st Birthday to my beautiful mother who is the definition of “grace”. 12 week ultrasound of newest baby Carter shows there just may be a teeny-tiny penis there; we’re keeping our fingers crossed. Brother John wraps-up the month with is 59th birthday and our business continues to thrive in these dire economic times… thank you God for all the blessing you continue to bestow on our sweet family.

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings. ~Socrates

Thomas James, Gina Louise’s paternal twin, never was well enough to go home with his earthly family. He has instead been called home by his Heavenly Father and Jesus who teaches still, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.” Matthew 19:13-15 Born three months premature, lived 5 months and a day, will be forever in our hearts. Tommy taught us unconditional love and the importance of letting go. Another tiny angel freed from pain and suffering to rest in eternal peace and be reunited one glorious day with his mommy, daddy, sister Gina and grandparents who morn not only for the loss of a baby but for their own child’s loss as well. My God, it’s been a hard few years. Three grandfathers/husbands/dads, an uncle/son/brother and baby/grandson/nephew/cousin have all suffered so and taught us all about letting go and loving unconditionally. Lessons that have changed our lives forever…. good-bye 2008.

On a happy note, Christmas/New Years really was wonderful. Michael and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary and we love eachother more now than we ever have. My mom survived a whole year without dad. Our business is thriving, all our children and their families are happy and healthy and we are expecting another grandbaby this coming summer. I truly believe 2009 is going to be wonderful inspite of anything fate throws at us… after all it’s not what happens to you but how you handle it that matters and there IS “Good” in every situation.

Congratulations to the new President elect Barack Obama, called at 8PM PST. It is the time for a new beginning, a wonderful moment for America. Thank YOU God!!!!

WooHoo my girl’s back…. “Finally the tables are starting to turn….”

November highlights…. as usual November was chock-full of gooey-deliciousness just like every November, it’s no wonder I love the fall sooooooo much!!! Besides wedding anniversaries’ and birthdays, my first born, Trinon, turned 38, OMG I swear my kids are getting older than me, BigRyan’s 26, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of sparkling cider. We hosted 25 for Thanksgiving and had a very lovely day. Stella kept everyone amused walking “all over the where”… what a sight, she’s only 17 pounds and 28 inches tall, lol the turkey weighed more than that, so sweet our little pumpkin pie!!! Unfortunately Gina’s twin Tommy is still not stable enough to come home yet, they celebrated their 4th month on the 10th as we all continue to pray for the family. This was the first Thanksgiving without my dad; there was a huge hole in the day without him and my brother Tom. Mom and I remembered Tom on his birthday with a trip to the Huntington Beach cliffs. The salty air was magically healing as we watched the sky and saw a beautiful parting of the clouds that revealed a colorful prism, sort of a rainbow with no rain and no beginning and no end, just magical. John & Debi spent the day with mom that would have been she and my dad’s 62nd wedding anniversary…. eleven months and counting since he passed away, the first year is so very hard but life goes on and I’m learning not to concentrate on life’s unavoidable pain but rejoice and be glad in all the wonderful moments that fill each day besides there’s always something to look forward to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T.C. & Riley chose a flock of ducks this year through Heifer International as one of their Christmas gifts from grama speedy and poppop Michael. When I asked Riley what else she wanted she said “Oh grama, I need some footwipes for my french fries, they got all hairy!!!” heheheh God, I love our grandkids =]

I usually don’t go all political, I leave that to couchmouse, but it’s October and we are rapidly approaching that pivotal day in early November when we have an opportunity to be instrumental in choosing our Government through the VOTEing process. I love my country but I’ve grown to fear my Government so I’m praying that each American citizen “do-the-right-thing” and VOTE for the candidate who will take this country in a direction that is for the highest possible good of ALL concerned. Yes, the best for everyone… not the few, not the elite, not those who have the most $$$… because we all know it’s ALWAYS about the money and that’s exactly why America is suffering so right now! Don’t think that one vote can’t possibly make the difference… watch the debates… be informed. Weigh the consequences of your VOTE and use the hindsight of the past eight years as a guide when you exercise your precious right to VOTE on November 4, 2008.
The video below comes from a blog “Politics After 50″ that I highly recommend… like she says “It’s never too late to get pissed off!!

OCTOBER highlights… On our way out the door to the Bowers Museum to see China’s first emperors’ TerraCotta Warriors exhibit we found a newly hatched tortoise crawling down the driveway headed for the street. Quickly we did a twice-over of the surrounding area and the backyard to see if there were any more hatchlings… Michael found a suspicious area that looked like a nest and covered it with a bucket until we returned later in the afternoon. Once home he found one in the pool and one half way out of it’s shell. Five more eggs were unearthed… one was unfertilized, three were cracked and rotting and one perfect uncracked egg that may, in the next few days, give us the third viable desert tortoise out of a clucth of eight eggs…. as of 10/31/08 only one hatchling has survived. Matthew/Kari/Stella move into their new home and mark their 8th wedding anniversary, Matt (35) & Leann (34) celebrate birthdays with their niece Stella this month turning 1 years old while taking her first steps!!! Happy Halloween everyone =]

A lot has happened in the last 2 years including my commitment to post here at least once a month in this virtual-diary of sorts. It’s comforting to know I can make and keep a promise even if it’s only to me, myself and I. Happy birthday to me!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh September, autumn is in the air, the stifling summer heat is over which means cranky ole Speedy will soon be cheering “YaY” it’s sweater weather!!!! Other milestones for September…. My cousin Patti joins me on the 60ish side of life… WELCOME my dear; it’s actually not as scary as it sounds. Both Kari & Matt have birthdays and on Kari’s this year they bought a new home so they can have more babies… well one more at least… or so they say… woohoo more grandbabys =] Stella turns 11 months on the 25th, TC started 2nd grade, Riley’s started Kindergarten, the twins are two months old, and on the 30th weighing 5 lbs. Gina Louise got to go home with mommy & daddy… Thank you God! Tommy will have to wait until Thanksgiving but what a Thanksgiving that will be!!! Kathleen, Leann, & Katy are diligently looking for full-time teaching positions and my sweet hubby is working his ass off trying to keep up with all the work we have which means there’s extra $$ to finally complete the office remodel and stairs. We’ve decided to go with a handscraped wood plank floor in oak-gunstock. I’m getting excited to move back in there… our temporary quarters are driving me crazy!!! 09/17/73-2008, marked the 35th anniversary of living in our home…. yep life goes on and it truly is GOOD =] Post script… Damnit it was almost 100 degrees today where is my beloved Fall???

~CHALLENGE YOURSELF~
Please enjoy this blessing—> Virtual Therapy for the Soul

There are those who would tell us
We will never fight enough wars to bring peace.
We will never feed enough hungry to end starvation.
We will never build enough living spaces to house the homeless.
We will never be outraged enough to end all atrocities.
We will never build enough jails to end crime.
And we will never make the earth green
enough to end global warming.

Maybe it’s time to choose another way……… WARNING!
By accepting the Blessing Way Challenge, you may never see things the same way again. Your life will become lighter, brighter, more peaceful and more loving. Those who fully commit to the challenge have reported that problems dissolve or resolve themselves and every seeming difficulty becomes the catalyst for a new and greater blessing.
Reflection on the 30 day challenge: “Looking for the GOOD in old age” One of the blessings of getting older is actually making it to one’s own future. In my case it all worked out and I’ve learned that worrying does nothing but make you sick. The term “Worrying yourself sick” makes perfect sense to me now. Worry ruins the present, which is all we truly have. Our past is there to learn from and if we don’t stop what doesn’t work we have truly wasted that time of our lives as well. No matter what we’ve done, good or bad, positive or negative, if we refuse to apply that precious knowledge those days (the past) are lost… not honored, not used, not valued- then we begin to not only NOT live in the present but regret the past and end up fearing the future.

“When I look back on all the worries I remember the story of the old man
Who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life,
Most of which never happened.” Sir Winston Churchill

August 2008… There was hardly a day this month that didn’t have some kind of note penciled in on my calendar. From birthday’s (congratz Debi and Kathleen) Olympics, doctor appointments, work, watching pets while family went to Mammoth, San Diego, Lake Arrowhead, The Yucatan Peninsula, etc. etc…. did a lot of grandkid babysitting… one of my favorite things to do =] Work, finally painted the office and worked in the yard… thanks Katy for all your help, the twins turned a month old on the 10th praise God, work, work, work, praise God =] more teeth for Stella and she hit the 15 pound mark just days before turning 10 months. Pop Pop and I attended an incredible “live” experience called “Walking with the Dinosaurs” with TC & Riley… FANTASTIC!!! and the month’s not even over yet… Labor Day weekend is coming up with final summer BBQ’s and the second anniversary of Tom’s passing on the 30th. Two years… hard to believe. Eight months since dad joined him… honestly, I still can’t believe my dad’s gone. I’ve been working hard to find the “good” in every thing. The only blessing I can see is they are both at peace and no longer suffering. Some times that’s enough… some times it’s not.

Happy 232nd birthday America. On July 4, 1776, the Declaration of Independence was approved by the Continental Congress, starting the 13 colonies on the road to freedom as a sovereign nation. As always, this most American of holidays will be marked by parades, fireworks and backyard barbecues across the country. God Bless America!!!

Stella is crawling!!! Leann & Matt will celebrate their second wedding anniversary this month, time flys when you’re working four jobs between the two of yous. We also have two birthday girls in July, Riley turns 5 with a “Puppy-Party” and Katy steps beyond the quarter century mark with a dinner at the Spaghetti Factory the end of the month. As an extended family we will be celebrating my dad’s life with a memorial breakfast in his honor at which time we will present mom with a memory book that everyone in the family has contributed to. I’m looking forward to honoring a man who has touched so many lives with his unconditional love and support and pleased that mom will have many sweet memories of her husband of 61+ years right at her fingertips.

The office and hall stairs weren’t done when I hosted Bunko this month… oh well. Hubby’s been busy in the field making the big bucks so we can afford gas at almost $5.00 a gallon OUCH, OUCH, OUCH. I can remember the ’70’s and gas rationing… the scare of gas going to $1.50 a gallon some day and thinking I’ll never be able to afford it, I’ll have to sell my car!!! Yep, we are still driving but only when we absolutely have to. No more of those legendary Sunday drives like we used to take with my grandparents in the fifty’s & sixty’s after church along Pacific Coast Highway… *sigh* those were the days.

Post Script…. July 10, 2008; Welcome Gina Louise born first, 1 lb. 8 oz. 13 inches long & Thomas James just 15 oz. & 10 1/2 inches long. Born during an emergency C-section at 26 weeks. Mother and father are preparing for a long haul, the twins will not be released until their original due date of October 16th but mommy’s life is no longer in jeopardy and the family requests lots of prayers for these two tiny tots and everyone who loves them. Congrats to our grandkids… you have two more cousins!!! God bless you all.
RIP Randy Pausch

I fell in love with Spring this year. Fall has always held my heart but this year I found a second lover. I will miss Her too as the days grow hot and long.

When Tom was dying he asked me what sound set the mood for each day as I awoke in the morning. With out hesitation I answered, “Oh, birds singing.” Then I quickly cringed inside because I knew many a night he’d lay awake bothered by a mockingbird or two who’d perch outside his window taunting him to take aim with his pellet gun. He answered their calls a couple times but always felt so badly after carefully burying them in the backyard, wrapped regretfully in used tissue paper and placed in an old shoebox. He didn’t say a thing about my answer nor did we talk about it again. But I knew he and our brother John were making plans to meet up in a dream, after he died, and surf the cosmos. So when the birds began singing… all day and all night…. the rest of that summer Tom passed and all through the two winter’s, two fall’s and two spring’s he’s been gone… I knew Tom had sent them. I am filled with sweet joy each morning as their songs remind me of how much Tom and I love each other still.

June notes~ Many birthdays this month including aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors and of course my own…. Happy birthday to me I’m sixtyone-derful. Stella got her 1st toofer!!! Happy Father’s Day to my attentive husband and BOTH our son’s this year. So pleased they are happy daddies who enjoy and cherish their families. This is the first Father’s Day since my dad passed into the light and the 24th will mark six months without him…………..

“There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.” ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

…………I will wrap the cloth my father left around me and remember just how much my daddy loved me. Happy Father’s Day dad, I miss you so much.

Happy, happy birthday to my sweetie =] Stop grimacing, I’ll always be 4 years older than you!

Happy Mother’s Day to my dear mom and both our daughter-in-laws. I can’t believe I was pregnate 38 years ago with my first on Mother’s Day… it seems just like yesterday!! We have a 1st Mother’s Day celebrant; yes baby Stella turned 6 months (a petite 13 lbs) last week, so thank you Kari for giving us our third grandchild. We look forward to more (no pressure). Side note~ Stella is using the two chest of drawers that I got as my first Mother’s Day gift in 1970 from her paternal grandfather while we awaited the arrival of our first son. How sweet is that!!

Our oldest grandson will celebrate his 7th birthday the end of this month… ConGraTuLatIonS TC, Enjoy your monster truck party and like Pop-Pop Bill always said… “When you’re 7 years old you do as you’re told.”

Hopefully the office remodel will be complete by Memorial Day weekend 4th of July?? maybe… go, go, go my love.

And while bbq’ing on your day off this Monday, May 26th, please remember… “These heroes are dead. They died for liberty - they died for us. They are at rest. They sleep in the land they made free, under the flag they rendered stainless, under the solemn pines, the sad hemlocks, the tearful willows, and the embracing vines. They sleep beneath the shadows of the clouds, careless alike of sunshine or of storm, each in the windowless Place of Rest. Earth may run red with other wars - they are at peace. In the midst of battle, in the roar of conflict, they found the serenity of death. I have one sentiment for soldiers living and dead: cheers for the living; tears for the dead.” ~Robert G. Ingersoll

Spring has sprung!!!

“In the spring time, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding;
Sweet lovers love the spring.”
~William Shakespeare~
Love Her or lose Her

Smiling
Spinning round and round
Holding hands
The whole world a blur
But you are standing

Soaked
Completely drenched
No rubber boots
Running in us
Want to erupt from a shell

Wind in
An outdoor smell of your hair
I hit as fast as I could
with my nose

Jump into puddles
(comepletely drenched)
(With no boots)
Soaked
(completely drenched)

And I get a nosebleed
but I always get up
We see eachother
In myself

And I get a nosebleed
but I always get up
We see eachother
jump into puddles
Hoppípolla “Jump into puddles” by Sigur Ros from Iceland