Happy birthday, daddy!!!

Today, January 15, 2008, would have been my father’s 81st birthday. I’ve been putting off posting about his passing because it came so fast and even though we were praying for God to take him and telling him it was O.K. to go the reality of him gone is awesome.

Not awesome as in wonderfully incredible but awesome as in unbelievably overwhelming.

It’s only been three weeks…. he died at 7:25 A.M. on December 24, 2007. And I thought losing my grand-pap on the 23rd of December, when I was 10, was bad!

We didn’t really have a lot of time to say goodbye, in fact we were so busy trying to find out what was wrong and help my mom care for him there wasn’t really any time to sit around and talk much about it at all.

He wasn’t feeling well in October… we thought it was the fires. November came and went before we knew it, with several trips to the hospital, and then on December 4th he was diagnosed with cancer. Twenty days later he died. The past three weeks have seemed like an eternity. I can’t believe he’s gone.

My daddy.

After 61 years of marriage now my mom’s alone…. having cared for and losing their youngest son just the year before. My heart is broken…. and it aches for my mom.

I know what it means to be widowed. I know what she will go through and it’s numbing. I can’t imagine losing a child, at any age, and I know she will never “get over” that.

It was painful watching him die especially worrying that he might live for months gasping for each breath. Our prayers were answered quickly this time and I know he spent Christmas with my brother Tom, Jesus, and a mother he never knew.

He really was a wonderful man and his wife and family and friends will be missing a huge part of their lives…. I know I will never be the same again.

I also know he lives on in me and my brother and our children and his great grandchildren and their children’s children’s children………

What a beautiful legacy he’s left for all of us.

I love you dad.

And thank you Michael for trying to make it all easier some how…. I know how heart broken you are because he was your father too.

Other January milestones…. My mom turns 80, my brother, 58, Stella’s 3 months old, yes life does go on…..  Katy & Ryan moved to Huntington Beach (newest mantra… it’s only for a year, oh and don’t drink the water!!!)