June is my birth month and at 60 I’m taking a hard look backwards knowing full well I’m passed the half way mark and have found that the vision is far clearer in the rearview mirror than squinting into the future… hindsight being 20/20 as they say. I realize the dreams that ached in my chest for lack of completion throb still… year after year tugging at me as the trips around the Sun really start to add up. Until very recently hope sprung eternal as I always had that inner child in the back of my mind whispering, You still have time to do that, go there, see them, and experience all those desires. Now I’m beginning to cross off some of those wishes as the whispers get fainter and fainter and the more mature me knows some of those things just ain’t gonna happen!

I’ve never been a blamer, there’s a lot of things I am but blaming others for things I’ve done or not done has never been one of my many short comings. I’ve owned those nasty little mistakes and am working hard at forgiving myself. In doing so I’ve come to realized that there really are dream stealers out there and that they have had a hand or two in plucking some of my dreams right out from in front of me.

My children.

Granted the choice to have them and not pursue other ventures were absolutely mine and very selfish I might add. FACT: I wanted more but hubby said he’d cut his dick off =]

Often, throughout those “stop-to-ponder” milestones in my life, I’ve thought out loud about where I was and where to next? My answer has always been the same.

“I didn’t know what to expect, but I never thought it was going to be like this!”

Several years ago I sat in a friend’s backyard one evening and took in the view. Beautiful home, gorgeous yard with custom pool and spa, she doesn’t have to work, looks like a million bucks, covered with jewels, dressed to the nines, travels the world and has a husband who worships her and a daughter to boot. Wow, now this is the life. Then I thought…

Okay, which three of my four children would I be willing to give up to have a life like this?

A split second later I knew the answer. My little dream stealers are all my dreams come true. Everything I ever wanted I have thanks to a loving husband who has worked long and hard right by my side so we could enjoy a large family… that to our delight just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Today I’m right where I want to be… surrounded by family with dreams of their own who may wonder from time to time if all their wishes will come true. I just hope it doesn’t take them 60 years to be at peace with their lives. And when I blow out the candles this year I’ll wish that they all are blessed with many little dream stealers of their own.

Happy birthday to me =]