July is summer all wrapped up in one hot, hot, hot month. Actually we had some rain a few days ago, reminded me of Hawaii. Oddly Death Valley got more rain fall this year than Seal Beach did!!! The weather has definitely changed.

4th of July was as quiet as it gets around here. Our traditional pool party & B.B.Q. topped off with hours of fireworks has dwindled over the years. The slow down started when Seal Beach outlawed fireworks years ago. We’d still have the party then go into the neighboring city and set off hundreds of dollars worth of legal fireworks late into the night. When our oldest son Trinon and his wife Kathleen bought a home in Huntington Beach the cities 4th of July parade got to be a tradition with most of the family and our son Matthew and his wife Kari began hosting the party at their home in the same city…. no more homemade ice cream just lots of beer! Once it got dark we’d still do the fireworks as fewer and fewer cities allowed them. More and more illegal fireworks were being shot off all around us…. spectacular but damn dangerous. Finally we’d skip the party’s and just do the fireworks…  never knowing if it was going to be the last year or not we didn’t mind watching a couple hundred dollars go up in smoke. Unfortunetly, some of our favorite fireworks got banned. No more “ground bloom flowers” or silver showers that shot 10-15 feet in the air. Even the sparklers got weaker and weaker and weren’t worth the five bucks they wanted for 10. It just wasn’t like the good ‘ole days… I guess we are just getting old.

So this year we finished up tiling the dinning room and then went to Home Depot and looked at carpet… not your traditional 4th of July festivities. But then again we did grill some filet minion and toasted America with champagne for the first time, while watching a spectacular display of fireworks on T.V.  Just the two of us… finding new ways to celebrate old traditions. I missed the smell of sulfer and the sting of smoke in my eyes and all the “OOOO’s and ahhhhhs” from the children, now adults with kids of their own.

July 29th is our daughter Leann and son-in-law Matt’s 1st wedding anniversary. One down and many many to go. Congratulations to the not so new newly weds =]

The 31st will mark our youngest 25th birthday. Those 25 years went so fast my head is still spinning. Happy, happy birthday Katy!!

And to Riley, our first granddaughter, enjoy being 4 sweetie pie. Before you know it you’ll be 60 and marveling at how not only the weather has changed but traditions you thought would go on and on change too.

Happy Birthday America!!!!

June is my birth month and at 60 I’m taking a hard look backwards knowing full well I’m passed the half way mark and have found that the vision is far clearer in the rearview mirror than squinting into the future… hindsight being 20/20 as they say. I realize the dreams that ached in my chest for lack of completion throb still… year after year tugging at me as the trips around the Sun really start to add up. Until very recently hope sprung eternal as I always had that inner child in the back of my mind whispering, You still have time to do that, go there, see them, and experience all those desires. Now I’m beginning to cross off some of those wishes as the whispers get fainter and fainter and the more mature me knows some of those things just ain’t gonna happen!

I’ve never been a blamer, there’s a lot of things I am but blaming others for things I’ve done or not done has never been one of my many short comings. I’ve owned those nasty little mistakes and am working hard at forgiving myself. In doing so I’ve come to realized that there really are dream stealers out there and that they have had a hand or two in plucking some of my dreams right out from in front of me.

My children.

Granted the choice to have them and not pursue other ventures were absolutely mine and very selfish I might add. FACT: I wanted more but hubby said he’d cut his dick off =]

Often, throughout those “stop-to-ponder” milestones in my life, I’ve thought out loud about where I was and where to next? My answer has always been the same.

“I didn’t know what to expect, but I never thought it was going to be like this!”

Several years ago I sat in a friend’s backyard one evening and took in the view. Beautiful home, gorgeous yard with custom pool and spa, she doesn’t have to work, looks like a million bucks, covered with jewels, dressed to the nines, travels the world and has a husband who worships her and a daughter to boot. Wow, now this is the life. Then I thought…

Okay, which three of my four children would I be willing to give up to have a life like this?

A split second later I knew the answer. My little dream stealers are all my dreams come true. Everything I ever wanted I have thanks to a loving husband who has worked long and hard right by my side so we could enjoy a large family… that to our delight just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Today I’m right where I want to be… surrounded by family with dreams of their own who may wonder from time to time if all their wishes will come true. I just hope it doesn’t take them 60 years to be at peace with their lives. And when I blow out the candles this year I’ll wish that they all are blessed with many little dream stealers of their own.

Happy birthday to me =]

Things to ponder this Memorial Day, on July 4th and Veteran’s Day, and every other day of the year that WE enjoy freedom.

“The Things They Carried” By Tim O’Brien
In the beginning they carried swords and sabres, dirks, Brown Bess’s and flintlock Pennsylvania rifles, fowling pieces, bullet pouches and powder horns, cannon balls and anything else they could scrounge to help defeat the enemy. They dragged themselves and cannon through the mud and snow, the misery of slogging endless miles through the storms of winter and the stultifying heat of summer. They carried the wounded, the dying and the dead. They carried the sure knowledge that as long as one of them was alive the battle was not lost. They carried a dream of Freedom from despotic government, of the Liberty To Insure the Inherent God-Given Rights of all People of the Nation and their Posterity.

Later they carried P-38 can openers and heat tabs, watches and dog tags, insect repellent, gum, cigarettes, Zippo lighters, salt tablets, compress bandages, ponchos, Kool-Aid, two or three canteens of water, iodine tablets, sterno, LRRP rations, and K-rations stuffed in socks. They carried standard fatigues, jungle boots, bush hats, flak jackets and steel pots. They carried M-1’s, then M-16’s. They carried 60mm, 81mm and 4-deuce mortars. They carried ammunition and beer of all varieties. They carried tripflares and Claymore mines, M-60 machine guns, M-79 grenade launchers, M-14’s, CAR-15’s, Stoners, Swedish K’s, 66mm LAWs, shotguns, .45 caliber pistols and “grease-guns”, silencers. They carried the sound of bullets in flight, rockets, and choppers, and sometimes the sound of silence. They carried C-4 plastic explosives, an assortment of hand grenades, PRC-25 radios, knives and machetes. Some troopers kicked them out the door during combat jumps.

Not all at once.

Some carried napalm, CBU’s and large bombs; some risked their lives to rescue others. Some escaped the fear, but dealt with the death and damage. Some made very hard decisions, and some just tried to survive. They carried malnutrition, malaria, dysentery, ringworms and leeches.

They carried the land itself as it hardened on their faces and bellys and boots, if they had any. They carried stationery, pencils, and pictures of their loved ones - real and imagined. They carried love for people in the real world and love for one another. And sometimes they disguised that love: “Don’t mean nothin’!”

They carried memories. For the most part, they carried themselves with poise and a kind of dignity. Now and then, there were times when panic set in, and people squealed or wanted to, but couldn’t. When they twitched and made moaning sounds and covered their heads and said “Dear God”, and hugged the earth and fired their weapons blindly and cringed and begged for the noise to stop and went wild and made stupid promises to themselves and God and their parents, hoping not to die.

They carried the traditions of the United States military, and memories and images of those who served before them. They carried grief, terror, longing and their reputations. They carried the soldier’s greatest fear: the embarrassment of dishonor. They crawled into tunnels, walked point, and advanced under fire, so as not to die of embarrassment. They were afraid of dying, but too afraid to show it.

They carried the emotional baggage of men and women who might die at any moment, who know the terror and horror and futility of war.

They carried the weight of the world.

They carried each other, they carried you and me! Remember them toady and everyday!!