I hate to put Christmas away….. it makes me sad.

Everything looks so pretty and bright with the tree lit up and the fireplace framed in greenery twisted with multicolored lights. I love seeing the twinkling icicles lights draped around the eaves outside our picture window. I even love standing on the outside looking in at the lovely snow covered village arraigned on the bay window seat, the fire roaring in the fireplace, candles flickering against mirrors that reflect their warm glow with the holiday music still playing softly for hours and hours well into January. It just won’t be as bright and cheerful once the decorations come down and get boxed up and placed high in the rafters…. so I put it off till the tree begins to sag and dust starts to gather, lights blink off and on ’til some blink no more. Poinsettias get gangly, the fireplace begins to smell and the candy dish is finely empty.

The grand kids were here for a couple days while their parents de-decorated their new home before they bid a warm farewell to their winter break and head back to the classroom. Our 3 year old told me it was time to take our tree down too… she said,

“Grama, Christmas is over.”

Hearing her own words she frowned a little and pursed her lips, shoulders drooped…. dropping her head she continued,

“Ahhhh, No more presents from Santa!!”

My turn to cheer up the little angel…. not wanting to pass on my traditional saddness I smiled…

“Santa will be back and so will Christmas,” I whispered cuddling her close.

She perked right up and gave me a huge smile flashing the biggest blue eyes you’ll ever see and I knew we’d get through the saddest day of the year together….. at least it comes early, falling in the first week of the New Year besides we’ll always have those big blues eyes and those beautiful smiles from the little ones to keep our home oh so bright and cheerful until next Christmas.

Ahhhh December. I can’t believe another year is coming to an end. The family has been passing around “The Cold” and blaming each other for starting it. Unfortunately some of us have it for the second time already… Bah Humbug.

Speaking of Bah Humbug…. Christmas is not my favorite time of year. Don’t get me wrong, I love the concept that it’s Jesus’ birthday and enjoy all the beautiful decorations and roaring fire in the fireplace. The family tradition of baking lots and lots of cookies to share with family and friends makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, not to mention fat, well… fatter actually! Yep, I’m all about tradition and thoroughly enjoy the hours it takes to put out all the nativity scenes we’ve collected over the years on the sideboard.  My husband and I make a big deal about blowing out the lights on the tree each night before bedtime. I look forward to Christmas Eve dinner at my folks while reminiscing about Christmas’s past.  No one sings louder and longer than I do about Winters wonderland and that blessed Oh Holy Night. What ruins it for me is the overabundance of emphasis placed squarely on gift giving. I know, I know…. December probably wasn’t even when Jesus was really born and now they are saying he may not have even been born in Bethlehem. I have no problem with any of that. My faith allows me to accept those little inconsistencies. But come on, Christmas is suppose to be about the birth of Christ and the miracle of his conception and the glory of the season, but it’s not of course. It’s the gemmie time of year. Oh would I love to see a complete turn around that would reflect what Christmas is really all about.

Just like any birthday the honoree’s day is special. They are showered with gifts and usually a party is thrown with all kinds of fun planned for everyone. Our family is big on birthday parties… as well they should be. Birthdays are a happy time. We ask what the birthday boy/girl would like for presents.. what kind of theme they want to celebrate that year, what’s their favorite flavor of cake and ice cream etc. etc. What I don’t understand is why I would get a gift on someone else’s birthday??? Makes no sense to me.

Sure there’s stuff I’d like to have but I can buy those things myself or wait until June 22nd. It’s no wonder we are all so stressed out during the holidays… instinctively we know the rush to give and get is just wrong. It’s Jesus’ birthday. Do we ask what Jesus wants? Not cigars from BevMo or a leopard print cell phone skin or fifty dollar Transformers. We know what Jesus wants. It’s no secret. We don’t have to ask. Okay, the argument that this is when retailers make 40% of their profits for the year just doesn’t sit well with me. Actually I spend more through out the year on gifts than I do at Christmas… and I think if people really stopped and thought about it they would realize they do too. I find it hard to believe anything the media tells us. Surprise, surprise!!

What about Santa Claus you say? My question exactly? Where did that fat guy come from? I believe he started out as Saint Nicholas who was a gift giver. What happened??? Sounds like we were on the right track way back when. Somehow we got derailed and parents try every year to get that train of thought back on track. Twenty-five, thirty years ago I tried to keep our family on track and emphasis the importance of the season. For several years we even had a birthday cake and sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. The kids ate it up and have become community minded adults and generous with those less fortunate especially at Christmas time. I’m very proud of them. Somehow we get caught up in the whoopla and begin to lose sight as life goes on. You’d have to live in a cave to escape the bombardment of the commercialism that explodes all around us each year while trying to keep separate the true meaning of “Christmas” from Christmas.

Now I have another chance to keep that meaning alive with the next generation. Last year our grandchildren were too young to understand but this year while looking through a Toys R Us Christmas catalog they began pointing to several things on every page. After awhile we started to talk about that little price tag next to each item. They are 5 and 3 years old and don’t have the concept of what things cost or what a dollar’s worth especially since their parents use plastic to pay for everything. Gotta get those points at the end of the month when you pay off the balance!! Not a bad idea economically but it doesn’t lend itself to those tender teaching moments that define our very core.  My grand kids don’t have the opportunity to handle cash like we did. Let’s face it there was nothing more fun than meeting your grandparents at The International House of Pancakes and having grandpa pick you to pay the bill. He’d hand over the check and some money after breakfast, you’d walk to the cash register paying with real money and bringing the change back only to sit awhile longer discussing the importance of adding another dollar or two for the tip (more or less depending on a job well done with another opportunity to pass on solid work ethics and an appreciation for the working class.) So I tried another route this year and pulled out the Heifer International Catalog and we started to compare prices between a remote control car for $75.00 and a trio of rabbits for $60.00, a play kitchen for $110.00 and a sheep for $120.00.  We talked about how the eggs from chickens can be shared with neighbors or sold for seeds and medicine, how they fertilize and scratch up the ground so those seeds can grow into more food that can be eaten or sold for clothing. My grandson’s eyes went from that glassily “I want this, this and this” kinda stare to the beginnings of a clearer understanding of value and the true meaning of giving. He became excited once he began to grasp the reality of what a gift can do for hungry families. He understands that he can make a difference and others will benefit so much more from livestock and training than he could after getting another toy he’ll fuss about having to put away and has no room for anyway. It made sense since he loves Jesus and knows Christmas is about Christ’s birth. This year he and his sister choose to give one of their gifts from grandma and grandpa to people who need it with a donation in their names for a flock of chicks… next year they can chose another, making it a family tradition and then some day when they ask Grandma Speedy what she wants for Christmas I’ll tell them to keep the real meaning of Christ’s birth alive and give a gift in my name to someone who really needs it. Just don’t forget my birthday in June.

Happy Birthday Jesus  =]

Fall’s end, my favorite time of year for as long as I can remember, not exactly sure why it feels so good but I do love November. Perhaps it’s the weather changing from our hot and sticky Indian summer to cooler shorter days and longer crisp nights. A welcomed relief, I’d much rather see my breath than feel the sting of sweat in my eyes. Could it be the excitement of “that” time of year when people go home for the holidays? Our whole family lives within minutes of each other so that can’t be it. Maybe because Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday!  What a joy when we were doubly blessed that Thanksgiving in 1970, when I gave birth to my first child, a son. Yes, November is always eventful. Not only do we celebrate a number of birthdays and more than a few wedding anniversaries… It also marks the beginning of the holiday season. November’s always been a busy time of year for our family.

This year was the busiest.

November 2006, has been both traditionally sweet as well as sadly poignant.  It’s amazing how ones heart can hold all the joys and pains of life without bursting wide open. I’ve been keenly aware of the fullness in my chest these many weeks since my brother’s passing… the ache creeps up into my throat as I swallow hard over and over to keep the tears from silently sliding down my cheeks. Tears of grief to be sure but happiness too… truly my cup runneth over.

The month started off with a bang.  I hosted Bunko for a group of friends who have been playing together once a month since our daughters were in kindergarten some twenty years ago. The following weekend was filled with memorials for Tom. Several family members and long time friends of my brother played a round of golf in his honor then spent the evening reminiscing about “All things Tom” while creating a floral lei in preparation for a paddle out the next day in Huntington Beach. Sunday we gathered for Tom’s memorial. My cousin prepared, with Tom’s help, a beautiful service with tributes to our parents, who had been Tom’s caregivers for the last several years. As instructed by my brother she read aloud from a letter he had written filled with heartfelt thanks to family, friends, and hospice workers whom he loved and who will always love him. My oldest brother shared a DVD he made from old family films and snap shots he assembled with great care gently piecing in just the right music here and there.  We spent many hours in fellowship laughing and crying that day as we shared memory after memory… some old, some new… all too precious to let go unsaid. I had a hard time leaving that night… my husband didn’t say anything as he sat with me until I was ready to go. We were the last ones to leave. It was a good day.  Two and half weeks later he and I and my folks went to a special spot where Tom wanted his ashes scattered and we honored his wishes again on what would have been his 55th birthday. A healing experience in so many ways for all four of us. Yes, a huge month but it wasn’t over yet.

Thanksgiving was coming and we had so much to be thankful for. Tucked in-between Tom’s memorial and Thanksgiving we were able to help our oldest son, his wife and our two grandchildren move into their new home. The whole famdamnily was there to lend a hand. Not hard considering they moved about a mile from their condo and are now living within walking distance of our second son and his wife and our eldest daughter and her new husband. They’ve actually succeeded in narrowing the triangle between the three residences. The eight of them could only live closer if they started a commune.

Finally Thanksgiving Day arrived. An extra special Thanksgiving this year because my parents’ anniversary fell on Thursday, November 23rd for the first time in as long as I could remember so we were going to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary as a tribute to their union. Sixty years!! Truly a milestone to be commemorated with all the joy and elation due the deserving couple. They didn’t have a wedding in 1946, or a reception, or even a cake. They didn’t send out announcements or get gifts or go on a honeymoon. They didn’t get to delight in any of the things you do when committing to a lifetime together. So we made up for all of that these many many years later and had a lovely reception with all the trimmings for two wonderful people who have worked so hard at their marriage because they love their family so much. Thanks Mom and Dad, without you there would be no “us”. You’ve both been an inspiration to anyone who has had the privilege of knowing you.

Ah, sweet November… It’s amazing how ones heart can hold all the joys and pains of life without bursting wide open.

I’ve caught the pyrography bug…. that’s a good thing so don’t feel bad for me!

Picked up some gourds on a little trip we took over the weekend to a gourd farm in Fallbrook. I know what I want to do just got to get started before Autumn fades and Winter in Southern California sets in. Yes, we actually have seasons here…. if you slow down and look close enough.

In rememberance of my sweet brother, Thomas Ralph West

November 21, 1951-August 30, 2006 

Do You Realize?

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we’re floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - Oh - Oh - Oh
Do You Realize - that everyone you know Someday will die -

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize???    

The Flaming Lips